Sexual intimacy and masturbation can be a practical, body-positive way to nurture our pelvic floor function, support bladder health and feel more at home in our body. This is not about performance or even particularly about sex. It is about soothing self-pleasure, blood flow, muscle tone and the quiet magic of hormones that help us relax, repair and reconnect.
Why pleasure is good for your pelvic floor
You likely already know that during arousal, blood flow increases to the vulva, vagina and pelvic area. This extra circulation brings oxygen and nutrients to the pelvic floor muscles and the tissues around the bladder and urethra. Orgasms create rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor, which can help with coordination and tone over time. Think of it as a gentle workout with built-in relaxation, because after climax the body releases oxytocin and endorphins that reduce stress and muscle guarding.
When it comes to pelvic health, stress matters. That’s because when we feel tense, many of us subconsciously clench our pelvic floor and if that happens often (or we are experiencing high levels of stress), chronic clenching can contribute to urgency, frequency, leaks on effort and pelvic pain. Intimacy that feels safe and pleasurable encourages full-body relaxation and deeper diaphragmatic breathing, which helps the pelvic floor let go when it should and engage when it needs to.
Self-pleasure is pelvic health care
Perhaps too often, we only associate masturbation and self pleasure as part of sex - and if we view it as a massage technique then it’s easier to see how it can contribute to our wellbeing. After all, it is a low-pressure, low expectation way to explore what not only feels good sexually for our body and mind, but also how it relaxes us, destresses and nurtures our sense of wellbeing - all without needing to meet anyone else’s expectations!
Solo, intimate touch can help us learn how to relax and contract the pelvic floor on purpose and engage with our body in a positive, relaxed way.
During life stages such as menopause and childbirth, dryness can be an issue due to fluctuating or declining hormones. If it’s become an issue for you, using a generous amount of water-based lubricant (such as YES) can reduce friction and protect delicate skin and tissues around the urethra. Speaking to your GP about topical/ vaginal oestrogen can also help to improve comfort and ease dryness while supporting bladder and pelvic health alongside intimacy.
Try this: spend a minute or two breathing slowly into your ribs and belly, then imagine the pelvic floor dropping on the inhale and gently lifting on the exhale. Add touch when you feel relaxed. Many women find that arousal makes it easier to sense and coordinate the muscles, which is useful if you are working on stress incontinence, menopause changes, or postnatal recovery.
Mutual self-pleasure can help strengthen trust and support delicate tissues
With a partner, focussing on communication and comfort can help longer, unhurried arousal phrases that increase lubrication and blood flow. This helps the urethral and vaginal tissues to swell and protect, which can reduce irritation. Mutual self-pleasure is a brilliant bridge to intimacy if penetration feels uncomfortable or you are rebuilding confidence after birth, surgery or a bout of recurrent UTIs. It allows pleasure without pressure while you pace things and listen to your body.
Pelvic floor friendly positions can help too. Side-lying or positions where you can control depth and angle reduce strain, especially if you have prolapse symptoms or are early in postnatal recovery. Pillows are your friend - and so is pausing. If you notice urgency or pelvic heaviness, take a break for a few slow, deep breaths and let the pelvic floor soften before continuing.
Intimacy and UTIs: simple habits that help
Sex does not cause UTIs, but friction can sometimes irritate the urethra and there are a few tips that can help reduce further risk of occurrence:
Hydrate well throughout the day so that your urine stays pale.
Always pee straight after sex to flush the urethra.
If you are prone to irritation, rinse the vulva with lukewarm water after intimacy.
Always avoid fragranced washes, and choose water-based lubricants that are unscented. Be careful to avoid glycerin as this can be irritating to your vaginal tissues. We like YES lubricant and moisturisers.
If you find that you experience irritation after using condoms, look for latex or spermicide free such as Durex Natural or SKYN.
Finally, if UTIs keep returning, ask your GP about strategies such as vaginal oestrogen after menopause, or a patient-specific plan.
When “tight” isn’t right
It’s important to know that despite how often we are told to do our pelvic floor exercises, we actually might not need more “squeezing”. If you have pelvic pain, pain with penetration, difficulty starting a wee, or a feeling of tightness, your pelvic floor may in fact be overactive. In that case, the goal during intimacy is relaxation and comfort, not heavy contractions. Spending more time on arousal, external touch and breathwork can help support an overactive pelvic floor. It’s important to see the GP if pain persists - and seek out support from a pelvic health physiotherapist who can assess what your pelvic muscles are doing and give you tailored, personalised guidance.
Post-surgery? Pace yourself.
Recently had surgery and feeling nervous about intimacy? It’s important to always follow your clinicians timeline for healing and any advice they give for intimacy during and after recovery. Generally, starting with affection, cuddles, mutual touch and non-penetrative play can nurture our sexual desire and wellbeing while tissues recover. When you do feel ready, go slowly, use lots of lubricant and check that your pelvic floor can fully release as well as gently engage.
If leaks on effort are bothering you, pair a supervised pelvic floor programme from a physio with whatever intimacy feels good and comfortable for you right now - but go gently. Your body needs to heal first and you should never feel under pressure to engage with intimacy or sexual intercourse until you are absolutely ready.
Everyday habits that boost the benefits
Intimacy is a powerful ally, but it works best alongside simple bladder-friendly habits. Sip fluids evenly through the day rather than “saving up” and then flooding your bladder at night. Limit bladder irritants if they bother you, such as very fizzy drinks or high caffeine.
Try to avoid routine “just in case” pees, as these can train your bladder to signal too early. Build a quick daily routine of relaxed breaths and two or three gentle pelvic squeezes and releases. Small, regular habits alongside pleasure are a winning combination.
Self-pleasure isn’t an ‘indulgence’
Sex and self-pleasure are not indulgences - they are evidence-based, body-smart ways to support pelvic floor coordination, reduce stress and keep tissues well supplied with blood and oxygen. Always let comfort lead intimacy - whether you are solo or with a trusted partner - and use plenty of lubrication. Breathe deeply to relax the pelvic floor and alway listen to your body.
If anything hurts or you have ongoing leaks, speak with your GP or a pelvic health physio. Pleasure and pelvic health can sit happily together, and you deserve both.
